Happy New Year.

Here is the first ever guest-blog in The Question of Leadership.  Special thanks to Beth Lowe for this contribution!  As an introvert, I can use this!

Why you should ignore your mom’s warnings and DO talk to strangers!

When I was a kid, the term “stranger danger” hadn’t been coined yet, and we lived in a very small town, so there weren’t many actual strangers around. When I traveled anywhere with my parents, my dad would strike up a conversation with pretty much anyone who looked interesting – gas station workers, restaurant servers, hotel employees… Before they knew it, they’d be sharing their entire life story with my dad.

Fast forward to me as an adult. Part of my nature and affection (affliction?) for talking to strangers comes from learning it from my dad. Part of it comes from being a huge extrovert. And part of it comes from being genuinely curious about other people and their lives, experiences, and stories.

So, why do it? Why ignore your mom’s warnings and talk to strangers? Some of the benefits I’ve found are:

• I’ve made real connections and built friendships, some of them with people who now feel more like family than friends.
• I’ve built a professional network of people I respect and trust; people who always take my call or answer my text when I need help.
• I’ve broadened my personal and professional perspectives about what’s possible in life, with new ideas and ways of thinking about the world.

How do you start talking to strangers, if it doesn’t come naturally to you? The most powerful tool in talking to strangers is to ask a question or two, and then just listen. It’s astounding and wonderful what people will share with you, if you pay attention and be silent, so they can speak and be heard.

And it doesn’t have to feel weird. Or forced. Just relax…talk with people, ask about what they like to do, read, their families…and listen to their answers and their stories. If you don’t get a reaction that makes you feel like there is mutual interest, or the other person isn’t potential “friend material,” just move on. It’s pretty much never about you, nor is it a negative reflection of either person. It just “is.”

As they say, you cannot make everyone happy – you are not a pizza. But there is a very good chance that you’ll make yourself happy, a few other people happy, and build some lasting connections.