A group of friends sit around a table talking, sharing stories and memories. The dark burgundy tablecloth is broken up by a scattered grouping of wine glasses and three open bottles of wine. The pastel-splattered labels show scenes of small villas surrounded by fields of flowers. Bach’s Mass in B minor is playing over the stereo as the host of the party reaches for a bottle. He gently cups the bottom of the bottle in his left hand supporting its neck with his right hand. He’s in no hurry to pour. Instead, he talks for five minutes about the small vineyard in Southern France that produced this bottle of wine. When he’s finished, he pours some wine into each glass. Each person watches as the smooth, silky wine flows softly into the glass. Then, one by one, the friends slowly pick up their glasses, hold them up to the light and marvel at the dark red color of the wine. They give the glass a slow swirl and watch as the wine’s legs slowly crawl down the glass. Then each raises the glass to sip, but pause briefly to savor the aroma. They are in no hurry to drink. They swish the wine in their mouths to feel its texture and take in its flavor.

OK, rewind 20 years…

It’s 12:45 am and the group is sitting elbow to elbow in a dimly lit bar. They try to talk but can’t hear one another because Def Leppard’s Armageddon is blaring over the sound system. They aren’t too concerned. In the absence of actually understanding one another, they mirror each other’s laughs, frowns or looks of surprise. The only time they notice their beer drenched clothes is when someone stumbles into them pressing the sticky fabric against their skin. Between the dim lights and cigarette smoke it’s hard to see one another. The only image they can make out is their friend, hair matted down to his head for some unknown reason and face glimmering from sweat. He grabs a pitcher of beer, screams “CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUG” at the top of his lungs and downs the pitcher barely tasting a drop. But he’s achieved his goal. The beer is gone quickly and efficiently and he is still standing. They all scream in approval and the night goes on. 

Many of us would like to think that we’ve increased in our sophistication since college. Perhaps, but I think maybe we’ve just traded the pitcher for an iPhone and the beer for information and knowledge. 

In his book, How to Think Like Leonardo DaVinci, Michael Gelb reflects Leonardo’s lament that, the typical person “looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, eats without tasting, moves without physical awareness, inhales without awareness of odor or fragrance and talks without thinking” And that was before the information age and internet.

I could only imagine what he’d think of our sound-bite driven life, executive book summary, and five-minute micro-learning culture.

As we experience the ongoing onslaught of information bombarding our senses, many of us have developed filters and other mechanisms to help us “focus”. But focusing comes at a cost.

We’ve become information and experience “chuggers.” We’ve learned to filter out anything not relevant to the specific answer that we are pursuing. As a result we might be losing out on what’s relevant to everything else.

One executive told me that he skips the narrative parts of memos and only focuses on the bullets. CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG.

Can I blame him?

He is busy. Memos can be long and he wants to get to the “point”.

The problem is that there is more to life than the “point”.

Often the answers to really hard questions doesn’t lie in a few simple facts. They are hidden in your experiences.

Most people agree that we learn from our experiences. Yet rich experiences are the first things to go in the name of efficiency or productivity.

We need to find a balance between efficiency and experience. It’s time to rekindle our senses, opening up and experiencing more.

One way that we inhibit our senses is by turning them off. Think about all of the things you do in autopilot mode. How many gas stations are there between your home and work? Do you ever notice? Do you look much at your surroundings on your way to work or are you just trying to get from point A to point B as efficiently as possible. Without looking, what color is the shirt on the person sitting next to you? I bet you already greeted and talked with that person a bit so you probably know that he or she is there.

We do a lot of things in autopilot mode and in doing so, we tend to miss a lot.

Autopilot is intellectual chugging. It’s about getting the job done with as little external interference as possible. It makes us more effective by dulling our senses.

Instead, try to make everything that you do new. Try to find a twist on what you already know.

Another way that we inhibit our senses is by putting a buffer on them. Our euphemism for this is “focus”. Focus is sometimes helpful. However, sometimes it causes to miss what’s really important.

Focus creates a paradox. Greater focus yields greater detail. Yet, greater focus reduces your field of vision. When you look through binoculars, how much of the horizon do you really see? When you participate in an overly scripted presentation or interview protocol how many stories and experiences do you miss? Have you ever seen someone so focused productivity that he or she doesn’t notice that customer service scores are plunging?

To experience more, we need to loosen up and take in more of what is going on around us.

Try this last exercise. Close your eyes for ten seconds and think about the backside of your right hand. How many wrinkles are on it? How many scars, birthmarks, freckles? Is your skin smooth or rough? Hairy or bald? Do you have marks on your nails? What color nail polish are you wearing?  Then open your eyes and look. How close were you? You may be surprised. Keep this in mind next time you enter an experience in an area that you think you know “like the back of your hand”.

The more you take in, the greater your experience. The greater your experience, the greater your opportunity to learn.

Conclusion

If you want to become a trusted advisor to your customers, you’d need to learn a lot about them. How much do you listen when talking with them? Do you focus on their broad concerns? Their preferences? Their ideas? Or do you focus on gathering just enough information to complete a transaction?

Of course, like anything we need balance. Sometimes you need to focus and get things done. However, don’t let that become an excuse. Don’t only think in the short term or of the next discrete task or event. Take a broader perspective.

Become a connoisseur of life, work, family, friends and your passions. If you do, you will not only be happier, you will learn a lot more.