“In a world devoid of humanity, try to be human” – Ethics of our Fathers (2:5)

This past week or so has seen its share of hateful, hurtful, and harmful statements.

These statements have come from many high-profile individuals – leaders in their various fields.

In some cases, consequences have been swift and decisive. In other cases, there are debates as to whether the lack of civility falls within tolerable boundaries.

These comments, while painful, aren’t even what saddens me most.

What really concerns me is the discussion about the comments and the people who made them. Those discussions can be just as hateful, hurtful, and harmful. In some cases, they’re even worse.

We can’t seem to disagree on an idea anymore without attacking or tearing down anyone on the other side.

There is no listening, just accusing.

There is no understanding, just posturing.

There is no disassociation of the idea from the person holding it. If the idea is deemed bad, so is its owner.

And, as we retreat into defensive positions within our tribes, we trade coming together for the common good for winning at all costs.

Are we really debating what types of mean spirited, ignorant, and hateful comments are acceptable, and which are not? If so, I think we might have lost the forest for the trees. I think we’ve set the bar pretty low.

Sadly, this past week doesn’t represent anything new.

In businesses, organizations, schools, and in society at large, we are increasingly confronted with a growing lack of civility.

Bosses and employees treat each other with distrust and contempt. Customers berate the workers who are trying their best to provide service. Individuals find joy in seeing their real or perceived “enemy” hurt, injured, or even just make a mistake. Often those “enemies” are simply people with whom they disagree.

We’re losing the fundamental skills and attitudes necessary to effectively co-exist.

At the same time, organizations are pouring millions of dollars into leadership training.

But what are we teaching these leaders?

We teach them to listen. To respect others. To focus on people’s strengths. To look out for the well-being of others. To be honest and transparent. To care. To exhibit empathy. To help others find meaning in their work. To be of service. And, to make those around them better.

The problem is that these aren’t leadership traits.

They are human traits.

Leadership is certainly important.  We need great leaders. But we need great humans first.

You can’t build a leader from a person who doesn’t even exhibit the basic tenants of humanity. And, even if you did, if we haven’t raised the bar for everyone else, who is he or she going to lead?

Perhaps if we spent more time focused on reclaiming, reinforcing, and rewarding our humanity, we wouldn’t have to spend as much time trying to turn leaders back into humans.

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Brad Kolar is an executive consultant, speaker, and author with Avail Advisors. He can be reached at brad.kolar@availadvisors.com.